The Things you missed

The Things you missed

Vanessa Jagodinsky

 

The newly painted walls

The cold grey floor

The flickering of the candles’ flames

The hot wax

The fluorescent lights

The empty frame

The soft cushioned seats

The red velvet pillow

The shutter sounds of the camera

The chairs being scraped on the floor

The confusion on their faces

The exchange of:

Energy

Fear

Anxiety

Smiles

Deep gazes

Frustration

Watered eyes

A bushel of pubic hair

The sound of the shears

The way the hair disappeared

The serving of each meal

The sound of hair ripping apart

The puddle of white

The contrast of black inside white bowls

My nipples from hard to soft

My nipples from soft to hard

The woman saying, “They should put a sheet up, give us a warning.”

The facial expressions when:

My back

My toes

My knuckles

Cracked

The grasping hands between us

My struggle to stay standing

The sounds I made when my legs started to hurt

The movement

The resistance to move

The restricted movements

The shape of my body as I reached across to the opposite guest

Her slurp of my milk

The whisper “I am going to get up now”

The sound of the milk

The taste of the milk

The cold liquid

My hand on his inner thigh

My hand on her inner thigh

Wiping the spilt milk off:

His pants

Her hand

My hands

Rubbing the milk into my skin

Wiping the milk away with my hair

The:

Spill

Drip

Splash

Spread

Of the milk

My hazel eyes

To his blue eyes

To her brown eyes

To her black eyes

To HIS blue eyes

To her shifting eyes

To avoid her eyes

To cry from my eyes

To wipe them in my hair

The sound of others

The silence of others

The ones who walked away

The ones who stayed

The distance between the observers and myself

The distance between those who didn’t show up and myself

The closeness of the brave ones and myself

When I gazed long enough that he looked away

As if I could reach him

Across the room

The control

The lack of control

The need for control

The colors:

On the wallpaper

Matching the chairs

Of the hair

Contrasting with the table cloth

Of the pale woman

The man

The tan one

The smooth one

The hairless one

The hairiest one

The strong hand

The delicate hand

The movement of the tablecloth as they came and went

The moment when I wanted her to stay but she left

The violation of my hair

Connected to my body

Mine

The quick decisions

The contemplation of guests

Her helping hand

Getting out of the table

My toes

My calves

My knees

My hips

My butt

My belly

My boobs

My tattoos

My collarbone

My chin

My lips

My nose

My ears

My eyes

My brows

My hair

The clapping at the end

The minutes

Ninety

You missed it.

 

 

 

 

 

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