Phone Notes of Note [Hez Stalcup]
photo Kelly Blackmon
<Notes _ January 17, 2015, 11:51 PM
Dance on super 8
Living room sets with carpeting
Playing with the idea of vintage and memory, creating the feeling of memory in the present
Watching Beyoncé's "Why Don't You Love Me?" video
Fascinated with teenagedom
This segment of a poem I read on Rookie:
I am happy with who I am
I say aloud in the car
While wondering if I
Should drive into a tree.
I am happy with who I am.
-- Mia Relevio
<Notes _ July 6, 2015, 9:57 AM
Curatorial schedule for WR 7/6:
Movement set to James Baldwin
Spend 20min moving w anger
20min of slow motion work, think about how the move holds and deteriorates
Think about slow motion moves of fashion dancers
<Notes _ July 9, 2015, 11:05 PM
Thinking about how to enjoy right now. Don't wait to have a good time.
I feel my best when I am dancing a lot and moving in general, taking walks outside (day and night both feel important) and finding some things interesting and humorous. (I like showing art work and dances I have made).
Maybe as long as those are the priorities it's ok to not know about who will give me a job or where I will live or even who will love me. Maybe those things can just be fine if my list is what I come back to.
I find that my mind wants to type out a long and looping todo list of what clothes to own, whether my teeth are alright, getting rid of having things, how many snacks I have, remembering what books I want to read and wondering about books I have forgotten to read or don't know about, what would be good roach repellant and whether or not I should keep eating meat.
Maybe an easier train of thought would be - have I taken a walk today? Can I take one now? Have I looked for something interesting or listening to that funny meditation guy? What do I want to dance about?
<Notes _ August 3, 2015, 10:28 AM
Think of a title for a durational piece:
Reintroducing the same bruises.
and/or baby don't hurt me no more - a deep articulation of what is love
Thinking about the sorting grounds for what in my experiences are assessed as the deeper trials and Therein worthy pursuits and happenstances but nonetheless Love - vs. when I'm just making a mess for no reason.
Can you classify any of this accurately?
Maybe instead or also it is what Antonija Livingstone said in MRPJ #40
"(What drives you to continue in this field..,?) I struggle to articulate the most vital formal questions for myself and this, in and of itself, drives me to continue. Answering them is not the issue; articulating the questions through a choreographic form is."
Let's just dance about it - it's trying to figure it out, not actual resolving or solving. Have resolve but don't let yourself ever solve it.
How can movement care for a space? How are bodies interdependent with rooms and homes? Is this a place to be looking at the feminine arts, celebration of the pedestrian woman?
<Notes _ August 11, 2015, 12:43 PM
Doily over head as mask
Moving couch around, diagonal against wall - trying to sit like normal laying in it like a coffin
Idea: no spare parts, wholly imperfect
Idea: home: heartbreak, death and where you keep exercise equipment. How we contain multitudes, where our bodies go to fuck and shit. Everything keeps happening indoors.
Inside the homes and sometimes just rooms I've kept, I have watched people die, watched my heart break and recover, watched the neighbors out the window as well as a lot of TV. Home is busy and at times impressively oppressive. Huts, closets and bedrooms. I put my body inside a lot of places and called it a day.
Long black skirt. Topless. For camera - modern music, pop, or something unexpected. With wigs? Anonymity of covered faces? Thinking of that goth/teenage feeling duet
<Notes _ August 14, 2015, 12:21 AM
Description of the paintings of Song Kun - "focusing on the small romances of the ordinary."
Ken Lum talking about his work (suggested text next to the image of a woman at a city pay phone):
"For instance the girl in You Don't Love Me.... No amount of language is going to bring that guy back, no amount of language can actually represent or embody the mixture of hate, admonishment, resentment, loneliness that she's feeling towards this guy, right? That's what I'm interested in.....the viewer is always interpolated in the work."
<Notes _ August 18, 2015, 11:33 PM
Playing out my feelings around home as a space. Remembering the danger and pain of moments where I was naked at home. It's not about abuse but it's not NOT about trauma. Maybe tribute to artist who had her jeans around her ankles w heels on. Imagining taking a bra off under a shirt. Dancing through partially wearing a shirt, it's off one arm a boob out, it's draped on my face topless. Just briefs with jeans draped over boobs like a stole. A little grey gardens. Im trapped here, marinating and trying to get creative. Maybe pantyhose is a good look? Under the jeans or I put them on. Moments of strange femininity / the grotesque feminine. Can I have an ash tray and cigarettes. Can I open a window or just smoke in the middle of the room? Do I have my record player and put in records to move to?
Just thought of starting the piece in my T-shirt and jeans laying draped upside down on a couch listening to music on headphones (maybe on my phone, it's small enough to stay in my pocket, or a little MP3 player).
Thinking of a Pina moment where friends come and choreographically mess with me eventually pulling some clothes off or moving it around
Adding more thoughts: what if I have an ash tray full of something not ashes, a kind of magical displacement - familiar and traditional home things but replaced with a faux displacement.
<Notes _ August 20, 2015, 9:01 PM
Article in performa called dance "the least collectible of cultural forms."
<Notes _ August 23, 2015, 10:26 AM
Creative Loafing astrology -August 22:
Aries: you're ripe for a new phase of of your long term cycle. Your freestyle rambles and jaunty adventures should now make way for careful introspection and thoughtful adjustments. Instead of restless star-gazing, I suggest patient earth gazing. Despite how it may initially appear, it's not a comedown. In fact I see it as an unusual reward that will satisfy you in unexpected ways.
Capricorn: undo your perverse attraction to the stressful provocation that has such a deductive hold on your imagination.
<Notes _ September 12, 2015, 3:40 PM
Two adventures a year
<Notes_ November 25, 2015, 11:27 PM
<Notes _ February 2, 2016, 9:14 AM
Gender Queer fabric
Screen print horses and elk over floral fabric -- make into attractive clothing
Dance/performance flip books and holograms ( does this go along with art books ? Right?!)
<Notes _ February 6, 2016, 12:29 PM
Insights for the week
Am uncomfortable after spending two hours with anyone
Interested in the power of reset at sunrise
How to be smart about money but give yourself over to enjoying what you've spent it on
How to get paid for mulling things over -- I'm good at mulling
I have to need something or be fascinated by it in order to change or attempt a new thing
"I am something that is just breathing, sometimes male, sometimes female, sometimes sleeping." Eileen Myles
Build something that reminds you to be on a ranch and learn to horseback ride (or maybe just learn to hang out with horses and pet them and in general be friends with them)
Thoughts about how there are things I am frustrated with that in reality -- I haven't actually TRIED to do anything about. I've just played out scenarios and worried. What if I tried?
Idea for piece: where everyone in the audience gets a hand written love letter from me. Each one original, and maybe a photo booth picture, but not necessarily of me...it could be called best wishes or best regards or just dear.
5oclock is a nice time to be in the studio (experiment with other times 3-6, 4-7) I like sunrise and sunset
I want a running suit
Curating my mind, how to have a relationship with what motivates me and what doesn't, how to be my own BOSS literally, be the Dom AND your own Stage Mom (quote from Rookie)
From this American life: "If you are going to fail, please fail loudly and sing as though your life depended on it."
<Notes _ February 22, 2016 1:05 PM
Insights for the week of 2/15
Little feet by Alexandre Rockwell
Darby forever by Aidy Bryant
Band: buke and Gass
Band : dead man's bones
“SURPRISE YOURSELF” -- Jonathan Bouknight
make a banner that says "Long Game".
YOLOTS (You only live a lot, copyright Hez)
<Notes _ March 6, 2016, 2:00 PM
Idea for piece called:
I will die with my heart breaking
Jazz on NPR driving at night
Thinking while cutting vegetables
Shielding my eyes in the sun
The floor is still cold through my socks
The intersection of teeth where all the food gets stuck
Upon my death I will remember that Jazz at night is the best, as was standing in the sunlight growing freckles until they burned, the way hands look when they are doing something, how funny every goddamn thing was. I will die with my heart breaking for all these moments. I won't be sorry. I won't ever have succeeded in stopping it from breaking. I'm not sorry. I won't be sorry.
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Hez Stalcup has been sighted, enjoying holes in nature and not nature, giving hugs, re-folding clothes, thinking about trees feelings, googling "Twin Peak decorating", stalking their dance crushes, searching the internet for what Horse they are most like and wondering about shoe repair. You can see them dance athttps://vimeo.com/hezstalcup.